Posted in Family, tagged abuse on 12/11/2011| Leave a Comment »
Sat 12 Nov 9pm:
Kid3 dropped the handset (phone) and it broke. Everything else is falling apart in the house, so his honest explanation of what happened made sense. He didn’t do it deliberately just didn’t handle it with care. Which is not the job requisite of a 10 year old.
He got a slap for it and a lot of shouting. Animal instincts still prevail for all his pretense, I suppose one can only hide rage for so long.
Posted in Family on 03/11/2011| Leave a Comment »
Sat 28 Oct: I had told the kids about an invitation to a friend’s place for the occasion of Deepavali and the kids were keen to go along with me. I think they were happy to be out of the house. In the evening we are all changed and getting ready to leave, the ex sees my youngest son kid3, and tells him he is not going anywhere because he is grounded.
My son comes into the room in tears and I my first thought was oh God not again. I said no, I told my son you are going with me and the ex has no right to gainsay me. We are officially divorces and yet, because he does not budget from the premises on the grounds that property is not settlled, he create as much mischief as he can. He was barely in the house that day, I had made sure he had enough practise and revision to spare him that time in the evening, He shouts from the hallway, ‘no one can over ride me’ and I told myself I will take him with me. But he is so distraught and stressed with his head in his hands, I look at him and let it be his choice.
I was not going to stress him further. He was so afraid of future consequences because he knows his father is like that. This is the past nightmare – part of his abuse pattern I put a stop to.
He tells my son, he knows it is my doing and encouragement. My older son stays at home to keep his brother company.
He is grounded for what reasons, watching TV while having his dinner. It’s a crime as usual. So is he at the whim of the monster again.
The next day, Sunday, he sits down with them for a board game with the two boys for 2 to 3 hours.
I had conveyed this to the interviewer who very expectedly told me there was nothing she could do. Does she get it, that he is a narcissist?
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Studies are disrupted, he has his own time table, his own agenda, I can’t keep to any routine of school study or tutoring ( even my father’s support is disturbed because of his nonsense) as was carried out last year. There is too much conflict and disruption. I leave the kids to do what they must do and because they are afraid of him, they give his work priority over their own school work.
I hope they manage still to do as best as they can, to perform in the exam.
Pained Mum 